There are people in your life who shape your career.
And then there are people who shape the way you move through the world.
My brother, Ikoy, was both.
Losing him has made me realize how much of who I am today was shaped not only by what he taught me professionally, but by how he loved people, showed up for family, and quietly took care of those around him.
Before he was my mentor in business, he was simply my kuya, my older brother.
The one who drove 16 miles out of his way every morning just to take me to school before heading to work himself.
The one who brought home my own hazelnut chocolate bar and blue cheese from his Sweden work trips so I did not have to share with my seven other siblings.
The one who picked me up from the airport no matter the hour.
The one who somehow became my lawyer and mediator whenever I was too scared to talk to my mom or dad.
That was him. Always present, reliable, and steady. My protector in so many ways, many of which I did not fully understand until I got older.
I was the youngest of nine kids. It is easy to become the forgotten one in a big family. But never to him.
He SAW me. He was the eldest and we were15 years apart.
He saw me not just as the youngest sister tagging along, but as someone worth investing in, listening to, encouraging, and protecting. He made me feel important long before I had accomplishments or titles attached to my name. And looking back now, I realize how much confidence can grow from simply being deeply seen by someone who loves you.
Barely out of architecture school, a few of us friends started a small design-build company specializing in tenant improvements. We were young, ambitious, and figuring things out one project at a time.
One of us had done small contracting work. One of us was an accountant. Another had experience running a small business and was good at managing people and resources.
And me? I was the designer and architect trying to figure out how to be an adult.
Then Ikoy gave us our first real opportunity: Dermclinic in SM Sta. Mesa.
At the time, it felt like a single project. Looking back now, it was the beginning of something much bigger. That project kickstarted the company’s growth. It gave me my footing as an architect and designer. It gave all of us confidence before we had years of experience to back it up.
More than anything, it showed me what happens when someone believes in you early.
That was one of Ikoy’s greatest gifts. He saw potential in people before they fully saw it in themselves.
But if I am being honest, the greatest lessons he gave me were never really about architecture or construction.
They were about relationships.
He taught me that relationships are built in the small moments. In how you show up. In remembering people. In helping quietly. In making introductions. In answering calls. In paying attention. In creating opportunities for others. In paying it forward.
He understood that success was never meant to be hoarded. It was meant to be shared.
Looking back now, I realize so much of what I teach and believe about relationship-driven business development started with him.
Long before I ever used terms like trusted advisor, relationship capital, or relationship to ROI, I was watching him live it.
And the truth is, some of the most meaningful business lessons are never taught in conference rooms or books. Sometimes they are taught by the person waiting at the airport for you. The person helping you get work. The person advocating for you behind closed doors. The person who opens the first door that changes everything.
For me, that person was Ikoy.
He was my second father, my mentor, and my partner in crime.
And maybe the greatest way I can honor him now is to continue doing what he naturally did for others and to share these with all of you:
Show up authentically.
Help people without asking for something in return.
Open doors.
Pay it forward.
And most of all, believe in people before the world catches up to who they can become.
Because he did that for me. And it changed my life.
